I’ve had three of my own children and spent my professional life thinking about children. And yet I still find my relation to my children deeply puzzling. Our love for children is so unlike any other human emotion. I fell in love with my babies so quickly and profoundly, almost completely independently of their particular qualities. And yet 20 years later I was (more or less) happy to see them go – I had to be happy to see them go. We are totally devoted to them when they are little and yet the most we can expect in return when they grow up is that they regard us with bemused and tolerant affection. We are ambitious for them, we want them to thrive so badly. And yet we know that we have to grant them the autonomy to make their own mistakes. In no other human relation do we work so hard to accomplish such an ill-defined goal, which is precisely to create a being who will have goals that are not like ours.
—
This weekend I took Archie to Brighton and left him alone a few times when I went out. I worried about him a lot when he wasn’t by my side and it made me think about having kids and what it’s gonna be like when they don’t need you anymore. First I realise I’m not immortal and now I’m thinking about babies. Scary shit man.
I can’t seem to make it go away. No matter how hard I try, these feelings are just there. Every time I look at anything I think of you, the moon, the sun, the fuckin bar next to the radio station, my entire bedroom.
I have no clue what’s gonna happen, I guess it’s pretty exciting. But it seems all I want in the whole world more than anything else….is you.
Boner will proudly say that I have helped her a lot as she becomes a woman. It’s a funny thing to hear. I still make people fight to be my friend and deliberately hurt their feelings (or go out with idiot men who won’t get close to mine), but i have come a long way and Boner’s words prove that.
The truth is shit happens, it’s how you deal with it that counts.
Turning the worst into the best makes you stronger, and that strength protects you from whatever might happen in the future. You realise that you’re capable, you’re special, and as long as you keep striving eventually you’ll be as strong as Batman. Every small achievement is like another piece of armor.
My other advice is for men and parents: tell your girl and your daughter(s) that they’re beautiful. All the time, for the rest of her life. Even if she’s got a face like a crusty arsehole. Seriously, it saves everyone a lot of trouble later on.
Christy Turlington & Linda Evangelista by Patrick Demarchelier
This is fantastic. I would very much like to be one half of a bitching, Chanel-wearing, legs on display lesbian power couple. In fact, I will add that to my Life To Do List, right under learn to make pant-wettingly good mexican tortilla soup.
Can you please add this to the post it wall…
If you can’t laugh, fuck it and if you can’t fuck it, laugh
Wave goodbye to our thankless jobs
We’ll drive for miles, maybe never turn off
We’ll find a cathedral city
You can be handsome, I’ll be pretty
-
What does this city have to offer me?
Everyone else thinks it’s the bee’s knees
What does this city have to offer me?
I just can’t see..
— Camera Obscura
Ya get me Boner?
“If you love someone, ask him for nothing. Don’t hold him from his destiny. Don’t keep him from going off in search of his own answers. Don’t ask him for commitment. You will know commitment is real when it is something given willingly, and not as something obligatory. Don’t ask him for promises. If you are patient, if you have faith, you will know in your heart when the right time for promises has come. And when that time arrives, then you will see that you have both lost nothing by setting each other free, and have instead gained a richer,fuller life, a wealth of experiences, and a stronger certainty of your desires.
But should he not return to you, then life hasn’t cheated you because no promises were broken. Your bitterness will not last long, and you will feel thankful and blessed that at the very least, this beautiful soul has colored your life, that knowing him has already made life infinitely more meaningful.
By setting a person free, you run a risk of him not returning. But always remember that you found him beautiful precisely because he was free. People are like sunlight. You can feel their warmth, and their glow, but you can’t hold them in your hand and keep them with you forever. People choose to stay. But a choice is made more meaningful when it is made despite so many other options.” — Ala Paredes
FUCK ME, I LOVE YOU
Sometimes I read your posts and they actually bring tears to my eyes. Maybe it’s cause I am constantly on a comedown/period/work misery/heartbreak flex but your writing fills me with so much joy and aspirations I cant even explain.
This is probo why I want to please you, cause you make me happy.
Anyway I miss the wall, and I hope papi fromage is getting on ok and his litter tray aint filled with shit. I also miss the couch and the big bed and your breasts.
Also I must say I am pretty fucking impressed we managed to watch 20 films. Even if some of them only got 14 minutes. Good times Fanny, and SO many more to be had…
Step 1: Quit my job: DONE. Last day end of March :)
Step 2: Sell car: Almost there…Have had it valued at 6,500. BOOM.
Step 3: Book flights: Might do this when I get my last cheque from work.
Step 4: Rock and Roll all night and Party every day
Step 5: Find a man who has equal perversions to me and spend a long time in a bed with him being filthy
Step 6: ‘The Week”. Find someone who is responsible enough to check we are still alive
Step 7: Eat shit loads of peanut butter. On everything.
Step 8: Become Tony Montana/Brittany Murphy (don’t die though)
